Stranded: How to Pick Your Stray Hairs Up Off Your Floors

Life provides you with enough hairy situations to contend with. Why give yourself another?

By Sandra Bazzarelli

 

We need to talk about your hair. It’s beautiful, really, but it’s everywhere. How can it not be? According to trichologists, on average a person loses between 50 and 125 strands of hair per day. This is totally normal, and yet totally troublesome if you’re someone who values clean floors. Stray hairs don’t long stay single, after all. Before you know it, if you don’t get a handle on the stray hairs that have abandoned your scalp, they will accumulate, connect, and befriend all the dust your dead skin cells have ever left behind. Better to not leave your strands stranded and start picking them up before you start slipping and tripping on them.

 

On a Roll

You’ve just brushed your hair and styled it. Without having brushed it vigorously or for very long, you’ve still managed to make your bathroom floor look like you’ve chosen to forgo confetti and just ring in the new year by tossing fistfuls of hair into the air. This is when a pet hair tape roller is your best bet. Don’t be dissuaded by the images of dogs that appear on the packaging of such items. You’re not a dog. You do, however, shed like one. So, stop kidding yourself and buy yourself a pet hair picker upper. They have the handheld ones for those of you who don’t mind bending down, but they also (thankfully) sell the upright versions. It looks like a painter’s roller and works in much the same way, save for the fact that you’re not painting anything. Still, as you roll it across your floor, your hair strands will effortlessly stick to the masking tape, revealing the actual color of your bathroom tile!

 

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Photo by Przemysław Kozieł

 

Catcher’s Mitt

Honestly, there will be times when you won’t be faced with a ton of hair to pick up, but rather, a few scattered strands. Simply picking them up one by one can prove tricky, especially if your patience is already waning. What to do? Stretch a rubber band across your open palm from in between your thumb and forefinger to in between your pinky and ring finger. It should fit snuggly and look like your hand has just won the Miss Rubber Band America pageant and been sashed accordingly. Then all there’s left to do is rub your open palm over the hair strands in a circular motion.

 

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Photo by Przemysław Kozieł

 

Voilà! The rubber band has caught the hairs!

 

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Photo by Przemysław Kozieł

 

Sweep It Out of the Rug

This tip here is my favorite. You’ve heard about sweeping things under the rug, but what about out of the rug? Your rugs look innocent enough. No stains, no visible detritus, no real issue. It makes sense to assume they are hair free when they look like they are. I mean, you just vacuumed, right? Wrong. Unless you swept the rug before you vacuumed it, I promise you it has a Kung-Fu grip on every one of your fallen hairs. It’s pretty much just DNA burial ground at this point. Sweeping your rugs, I will tell you, is an absolute must. In fact, go get a broom and do it right now. What’d you rake up? Do tumbleweeds bouncing along the streets of an abandoned Old West boomtown come to mind? By routinely sweeping your rugs, you get a grip on your many wayward strands and, ultimately, keep the stuff in your rugs from looking like they’re ready to welcome the ghost of Calamity Jane.

 

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Photo by Przemysław Kozieł

 

So be vigilant. Don’t allow your own hair to creep up on you over time and eventually overtake your space. Daily hair collecting here and there makes all the difference. I mean, life provides you with enough hairy situations to contend with. Why give yourself another?